Originally posted 9/20 /2013.
The animals are off the grid.
Think about it: they have no jobs, so no need to keep time.
What’s the point of Monday or Tuesday? Friday? Pointless.
There are no weekends, people, and no Sabbath!
This is intolerable.
Give the animals jobs.
These will of course have to be tedious —
how else to depress a deer or make a clockwatcher out of an owl?
Soon enough, they’ll develop calendars and then start crossing off
the days to vacation.
Then, we just kill them at random.
Nothing structures time like the justified fear of sudden death.
We’ll have to think about an afterlife for animals.
Will deer get their own, and owls get another?
Will they be close to our own?
This new world is coming:
forest cubicles. Rows of antlers visible, the deer bent to their tasks.
Owls calculating in the trees, softly hooting their dismay at the results.
Now and then, a shot will ring out and a corpse shall be dragged away.
That’ll show them what Humpday means.
No more slacking.
No more full sensory awareness as a result of living always in the Now.
They’ll soon enough begin to line up to get a good pew on Sundays.
They will learn to tremble and to pray for benevolence.
They will learn not to expect it.