A clown can’t be approached, though a clown is easy to point at.
The clown fails professionally, for entertainment’s sake,
as I am failing now to explain whatever I mean
by this. I am failing now. I’m sure you
understand. I can understand why
you’d try to help at the last possible,
least useful moment. I am failing. Now
is the easiest time to offer, the hardest time
for it to matter. You’ll get to say
you knew me when I wasn’t and that
you were shocked or not, whatever.
You can show the greasepaint on your sleeves
where you tried to hug the clown. What
I am failing now to completely explain:
it’s not your fault you were late, of course.
Not your fault that what you saw as a hug
I saw as a last smothering.
Listen: I am failing now.
What was once art is now a bad habit.
You don’t need to see this.